Checkered Hats & Things Like That
by Wolf Maid
Summary: Sequel to “Shiny Rings & Other Things.” One-shot. Jack thinks Martha and the Doctor are together but Donna won’t tell him anything...oh, and they're kinda captured & start a revolution in pursuit of fish-n-chips. So the usual. Martha/Ten, Jack/Donna.


AN: I know this took me so long to write! I'm such a bad person! In my defense I had a much harder time trying to write focusing on Jack then I did with Donna. (What does that say about me? lol)

Sequel to "Shiny Rings and Other Things." One-shot. Jack thinks Martha and the Doctor are together but Donna won't tell him anything. Martha/Ten, Jack/Donna.

...X…

**…Checkered Hats and Things Like That…**

…X…

./.

…_**Part I…**_

./.

Martha Jones and the Doctor aren't dating. They're good friends, of course, and like to talk late at night and tend to cuddle a bit, but that's not so unusual, right? Jack thinks it might be, but Donna's avoiding his questions.

When Jack walks into Martha's room (unannounced, of course, because this _is_ Jack) and sees the Doctor lying with her in bed, he's certain something's up, but Martha pleads nightmares and the Doctor nods, looking worried, and they're both fully clothed with their usual far-too-many-layers and besides, they'd never lie to him, would they? Donna starts talking about hairstyles and World War I when he (innocently) brings it up.

Jack is 99.9% positive that Martha and the Doctor aren't…well. "Time-traveling without the TARDIS." But he notes the ring Martha's picked up on that last planet and the way she fingers it when the Doctor's nearby and he's not so sure but _something_ must be going on. When he asks Donna why Martha came back she mumbles something about the joys of getting stabbed by mosquitoes and at some point he gets distracted into…well. "Making sure Donna's all right." After all, _someone's _got to remind her that it pays to be careful.

So he's a little curious about why the TARDIS showed up in his flat at 3 in the morning (although the Doctor's _always_ had _shite_ timing). So he wonders why Martha had looked half-awake and half-dazed and why the Doctor kept slipping into incoherent mumbling every third word, but then they'd been together enough to half-bully, half-drag his still half-sleeping body into the TARDIS and deposit him into the lap of a rather delightful, exhausted lady. And so maybe he's a bit curious why Martha's back with the gang, and why no one mentions her fiancée (or ex-fiancée, he's starting to think) and why they've swept him along for the ride, but it's not like he's not enjoying himself, and his team can hold for a bit. It _is_ a time-machine, after all.

He can't help but notice the longing looks the two doctors send each other's way, but that's not all that different since last time they were one big happy family (minus his darling Donna). But…something's a bit off. Especially the way the Doctor's hand lingers over Martha's when he helps her over the crumbling cliff they've just escaped. Jack brings it up to Donna that night when they're tangled up in the crimson sheets she insisted they get, and she cheerfully asks him how she'd look with blue hair. _Blue_ hair. He squawks a bit, and it's long after she's fallen asleep that he remembers his question.

Jack is starting to think that Donna knows something that he doesn't.

./.

_**…Part II…**_

./.

"_What_," she mock-growls (or so he hopes), "Is it with you men stealing my hat?"

He blinks. "Stealing your hat? I'm not stealing any hat! What _are_ you on about?"

"First the Doctor, now you—cor, I can't wear anything decent without you lot taking it away!"

"You know," he drawls, "I wouldn't mind it if you didn't wear anything decent…or anything at all, for that matter…"

"Right. _I _get the blatant come-ons, while _Martha—_" she starts, mumbling under her breath while tossing clothing over her shoulder.

"Martha?" Jack asks, voice soft, and she freezes.

"Martha…doesn't have to put up with your…behavior," she sniffs. Jack narrows his eyes thoughtfully (or maybe plum suspiciously).

"What's going on with Martha and the Doctor, Donna?" he asks. She blinks.

"I haven't the faintest idea what you're talking about," she says.

Jack's starting to think Donna's not telling him a little thing called the truth.

./.

…_**.Part III…**_

./.

Martha and Jack have always felt a bit bonded since the Year-That-Never-Was. Bonded in that _god-we're-screwed-up-and-no-one-but-you-will-ever-understand_ sort of way. And really, even before that year they'd already hit it off with a shared appreciation of each other and the Doctor.

So when the Doctor and Donna trot off to grab them 'the most fantastic fish-and-chips in the universe' and haven't returned three hours later, they know each other well enough to shrug on their jackets and shoes without really discussing it.

"Still not answering their phones," Martha says, sliding hers into her back jean pocket and then tying back her hair.

"I left a note saying we'd gone to save their sorry asses in case they're dawdling…or have already escaped," Jack replies. Martha nods, sparing only half-a-second to contemplate how weird their lives are.

"Best be off, then," she sighs, hand moving instinctively to the key she's still wearing around her neck. Jack's eyes flicker from the necklace to the ring she's still wearing and he frowns, but he waits until they're out of the TARDIS with a good mile walk to go before bringing up the subject.

"Are you and the Doctor…well…are you together?" Jack asks. Martha looks at him, surprised.

"Jack…" she says, hesitant, and he frowns.

"Are you?"

"The Doctor and I…haven't discussed whether or not to talk about…what's going on. So Jack," she says, lips twitching the slightest bit, "I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't ask about it until I've talked to him."

"You _haven't_," Jack says, unable to keep the parallel threads of awe and amusement from his voice.

"Shouldn't you be concentrating on rescuing Donna?" Martha asks, eyebrow quirking up, and immediately Jack's face slips back into worry-mode. He lasts two minutes before looking at her, wide-eyed.

"You _haven't_."

She laughs, and then shakes her head, and they talk about whether Aragorn or Legolas is more attractive for the rest of the walk.

./.

…**Part IV…**

./.

Jack groans, because the hit to the back of his head had _hurt_. He blinks his eyes, until he can focus, and is surprised to see the Doctor a couple of feet away…and chained to the wall. Ah. Jack reluctantly tests his arms and legs, unsurprised to find them similarly restrained.

"Hi," he says, and the Doctor looks at him, lips twitching.

"Thanks for the rescue, Jack," he says, and Jack can't help the little pout that escapes.

"Martha? Donna?" he asks.

"Martha got Donna unchained, and the guards were distracted by your antics that they got away. I rather think they thought we were behind them, because we were keeping up well enough until those last couple of guards came out of that side corridor, and then we were just done for," the Doctor explains. Jack nods before fixing him with a frown.

"What'd you do, then?"

"_Me?_" the Doctor asks, flabbergasted innocence in the flesh. Jack stares. The Doctor twitches.

"There was a big…and I couldn't very well—and then Donna was all _'oh go on,'_ and I didn't even touch it! But then the National Archivists—and _they_ turned it on, though they're too thick to realize_…and it exploded even though I tried to stop it_ and I got them _out_ but are they _thanking_ me? Oh no, they're off tying me up in dungeons and—"

"Doctor," Jack cuts in, shaking himself from his fascinated stupor at how the Doctor can manage those long speeches _without breathing_.

"Anyway," the Doctor says, frowning. "They think we're part of some rebel faction or some such fiddle -faddle. I tried to explain we only came here for fish-and-chips, but evidentially we're here a _bit_ too early and—"

"How early?" Jack sighs, because _really_, he should be _used_ to this.

"Uhm…about…three centuries…" the Doctor mumbles. Jack closes his eyes and breathes deeply.

"They didn't hurt you though? Or Donna—they didn't hurt Donna did they?" Jack asks, suddenly worried, and the Doctor flashes him a brilliant smile.

"Oh no, they haven't touched us…" and then his smile does that little wobbly dance and he adds, "Well, not yet."

Jack sits there silently, considering matters.

"They got out, though, and they'll get us out. Martha and Donna, they're brilliant, Jack, they'll have us out in no time," the Doctor says, mistaking Jack's silence for worry rather than weary resignation. Jack tilts his head a bit to the side and looks out the Doctor.

"Doctor, are you with Martha?" Jack asks, because really, considering how they're tied up in the middle of a dungeon, this is quite obviously the best possible time to be satisfying his curiosity.

"Well, no Jack, that's why you and I were trying to find her and Donna—"

"Doctor! You know what I mean—are you and Martha…_together?_"

Jack had rather expected the Doctor would deny it, or change the subject, or not answer, or possibly say yes as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

What he'd not been expecting was the Doctor to glance over with a completely recognizable, completely masculine grin of pride in female conquest. The Doctor's eyebrows twitch up and his grin edges into a smirk and Jack has the sudden disturbing sensation of his eyes about to pop out of his head.

"Yes," the Doctor says, except it's not _what_ he's saying but _how_ he's saying it, all full of satisfaction and something else and—

The door slams open, interrupting the Doctor, and in walks a man in black, except not Johnny Cash black, but rather menacing black, made only more so by the sharp knife affixed to his belt and the whip in his hand.

Despite the fact that he knows what's coming, the Doctor's stopped talking and because of that Jack's fairly sure he's never been so happy to see a torturer in his life.

./.

…_**Part V…**_

./.

The side of the building _explodes_.

Jack and the Doctor look up, surprised, and the torturer and his men leave immediately, at a run. As soon as they're gone Martha and Donna slip into the room, Donna holding the keys and Martha's holding what Jack recognizes to be…he frowns.

"Martha…" Jack says, looking suspiciously at the cloth bag in her hand. "What is that?"

"And what was that explosion?" the Doctor adds, frowning.

Martha and Donna look at each other, grin, and then Martha looks back at Jack as Donna frees the Doctor.

"Last time Donna was here they told her how they came to have such good fish-n-chips," Martha says, turning back to keep an eye on the hallway. The Doctor comes up behind her, putting an arm on her waist as Donna frees Jack and takes over the story.

"They told me about the big revolution they had. Rebels were fighting for years, and then a man came asking for fish-n-chips, for what they'd always called _Shmazz_, and he'd made the StarRock explode, and was imprisoned, and three virgins from the city were chosen by the Gods to free the man and he stopped the StarRock from destroying them all, appeasing the Gods, who'd sent them the StarRock in the first place. The people overthrew the government because they'd angered the Gods."

"Virgins?" Jack murmurs at her. She grins.

"They were mostly right."

"They make the _Shmazz_, your fish-n-chips, Doctor," Martha says nudging him playfully, "To honor the man who stopped the StarRock."

"StarRock?" the Doctor sighs, looking at the three of them. Jack shrugs.

"It looks like we've got history to write, Doctor," he says, picking up his checkered hat off the floor.

Donna glowers at him, but deigns to comment (for now).

Martha shakes her cloth bag. "We probably should eat our _Shmazz_ before it gets cold," she says, cheekiness incarnate.

The Doctor and Jack look at her and then Donna and then back. Donna shrugs. "The people here are _very_ friendly," she says.

"Well, to us, at least," Martha adds, full-out smirking.

./.

…_**Part VI…**_

./.

Really, he ought to be used to nothing going quite as planned.

At least the StarRock hadn't exploded. But having it crumble in and then supernova out, knocking them and the surrounding terrain flat, lights exploding around them, colors surging through them, hadn't been quite what he'd expected.

He sees the Doctor—_ginger?—_ helping a battered Martha up, and then his heart stops, because he can't see Donna, can't see—

A hand taps on his shoulder, and he whirls around, and…

And he breathes out, relieved, because Donna Noble is standing there, breathing, living, unbelievably and amazingly all right.

Then he blinks.

Donna Noble _is_ all right, but her _hair_…oh, her hair is an entirely other question. Her_ hair_, in fact…

Is blue.

Jack tries to sigh, but he can't help the small twitch of his lips, because only _she_ could look positively _bewitching_ with blue hair. She rolls her eyes as he stands there, big goofy smile painted on his lips, and with an exaggerated exasperated sigh she snatches the hat off of his now blonde head and pulls it onto her own.

The checkers, he thinks, add a very nice touch. Very classy. Very…nice.

When he, being the caring man that he is, carries her back to their room to make sure only her hair is blue, he decides to leave the hat on. With the crimson sheets beneath her, the effect is really quite delightful.

Delightful.

…she's rather inclined to agree with that.

./.

…_**Part VII…**_

./._**  
**_

"Doctor, I'm glad that you like being ginger, but I _don't _appreciate having purple hair! When is it going to go away?" Martha squawks, and the Doctor smiles indulgently up at her from where he's sitting on the floor.

"It's dark, Martha, it's hardly noticeable," he says, and Jack pauses in the doorway, not entering, just watching, because the Doctor's voice is unusually soft and for all Martha's rant she looks at peace.

"_Doc_tor," she sighs, and he smirks.

"It'll go away soon, my indigo-haired goddess," he croons, tugging her arm until she sits down next to him.

"Thought I lost you for a second there," she says, voice soft, and the Doctor smiles, and Jack walks quietly away.

./.

**_Finis_**

./.

_

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_....X..._  
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AN: I love Jack & Donna so much! And I love Martha/Ten, even though this one is much more focused on Jack & Donna. Hope you enjoyed!


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